Singlehood

Sometimes being single in this place that I call home can be tough. Here I am surrounded by so many great examples of strong married sisters in the gospel. I have had the privilege of getting to know a many of these outstanding women and have felt their influence in my life as a lasting one. Whether it is their encouragement to sing in a choir, despite my inability to carry a tune, or their advice on how to be a better child for my parents, or simply the laughter shared – I consider myself greatly fortified in my abilities to become a successful wife and mother.

Yet it seems that my time to become just that is not approaching with the haste I would sometimes like it to….and at times being surrounded by eternal companionship and motherhood leaves me in an ocean of self doubt with waves of loneliness and frustration washing over me. But it is not in my nature to doubt myself. I was not created to doubt – I was created in the image of my Heavenly Father and my Savior Jesus Christ – I was created in their likeness (Genesis 1:26) – “having been born of goodly parents” (1Nephi 1:1) who have taught me the gospel…born to a mother who once said to me “wouldn’t you rather be happy and single instead of miserable and married to the wrong guy?”, in response to a frustrated comment I had made about being single...(not a commentary in any way shape or form on her marriage) I was born to be an exemplary child of God.

In taking out my endowments this last summer I have seen a shift in my priorities with continued temple attendance. In striving to put the Lord first in my life I’ve gained peace and contentment in my soul, all the while the war with Satan continues to rage on before me; yet so often I know that I go untouched by the influence of the adversary because I have chosen my Savior. The world would have me believe that as a young single adult in my late twenties there is a perpetual party waiting for me. A party where being single allows for more exploits, where I’M allowed to focus on MYSELF so the I can focus on having the best time for ME and not worry about anyone else.

However, in that world I found only temporary satisfaction and a spiritual emptiness that left me wanting. It is in obedience to the teachings and commandments of this gospel – in the keeping of my covenants – that I come to know my Savior and to be engulfed in His love for me. Contemplation of His great Atonement reveals His knowledge of who I am, as He has suffered not only for my sins and pains and afflictions, but also for my personal temptations. He knows, as well as I, and better than anyone else, how Satan seeks to destroy me and with that knowledge stands ready to bless and strengthen me with the tools needed to overcome the adversary. And so, even in my “singlehood” He is always teaching me, building me up to be the child of God, the daughter, the sister, the friend, and eventually, the mother, that He knows I can be.

I’m so grateful for these manifestations of His love, not only through His spirit, but through my family, my friends, my church leaders, and in the beauty that surrounds me. I know that my Savior loves me, that He came here to do the work of a Father in Heaven who loves and knows me. I know that Father has a plan for me and with that knowledge and continued faith I will become all that He has sent me here to be and that the promises and blessings of exaltation will be mine.