Wednesday, March 21

Knock Around Girl

My day to day activities and events are typically reserved for my own private are some of my deepest, darkest secrets ( journal)...but my thoughts about things around me can be found here...however...sometimes, something happens that needs to be shared (case in point Get Shorty)...last night's events...well one in worth sharing with all of cyber space.

The evening began as mellow and calm as any other. I had dinner plans with friends (Shorty, Sliced Bread, Alisa, and Ronnie)...Happy Sumo...after an eventful dinner...which included me spilling soy sauce on every one's debit card...except mine...funny how that works...we went over to Ben's Cookies...Alisa parted ways with us (which she now says is a good thing...because of what happened)...we bought our cookies (after much trauma...all because Shorty wants to be efficient) and sat out side to enjoy a cool spring evening. So here we are...the four of a table...discussing the dating habits of guys (well one guy) that we know. Ronnie casually says..."It looks like we've got ourselves a streaker." Well of course we're all going to look up. Which of course we did. And what we was not a fact I'm going to go out on a limb and suggest that what appeared in front of us, coming at full speed down the side walk...was far, FAR worse than seeing a streaker. It appeared that a young girl...early twenties...was running at her top speed, without a shirt...or bra on! I let you take a minute to get a you have it? Ok great...moving on. Shorty, Sliced Bread, and I all looked at the same moment, and all looked back at one another at the same moment...wondering if we each saw the same thing. This young girl made her way speedily past us, and into that moment, the four of us confirmed with some serious gut laughter, and tear filled eyes that we had indeed seen the same thing...she was not shirtless...but the shirt was pointless...for it was the color of flesh, and she did NOT have a bra...and she was decently endowed. The thought now still evokes a subtle laugh and great big smile. I suddenly realized why they are sometimes referred to as "knockers"...for knock they did! I'm surprised she didn't knock herself out. It was like an extra pair of arms flailing in front of her.

I'm at a loss for how someone could feel it appropriate...let alone do that. I thought those things were going to rip right off her chest! We sat there for another ten or so minutes laughing, wiping tears, and debating whether or not she was wearing a bra...She was not. I looked immediately as she passed and saw no straps. We "casually" walked passed the store to verify that she was not wearing a bra. We were probably the most obvious foursome to ever try and observe, but it was completely worth it! I mean its not a picture I love to have burned in my memory, but it was indeed a bonding moment among friends. Moments like that bond you in a way that nothing else can.

After she had made her purchase she happily strolled out of the store and back down the street off into the darkness. I doubt we'll ever see her again...but we will NEVER forget her...or her anatomy.

Tuesday, March 20

Grey's Anatomy lives in a time warp

So a fact about me...almost every Thursday night at 8:00pm Mountain Time, you can find me at Aubry's house watching Grey's Anatomy. It's kind of a different show...but has enough humour and like able characters that I enjoy that hour of my life. One thing that I have well as that the timing on on Grey's is very strange. I sent Aubry an email today about my current feelings and opinions of Grey's and she suggested I blog doesn't really fit into the nature of my blog, but randomness in the universe isn't a bad thing. Below is the email that I sent to Aubry. She commented on the fact that Meredith was suddenly back in action after serious tragedy in her life and I sent the following response: (I have added some commentary which is in italics)

I know…they didn’t even address the fact that Meredith killed her self…they address her mom dying…but that’s it! (and only like two seconds when Baily tells her she is doing I don't even remember, but its because her parent just died) LAME! Everyone is stupid right now…well maybe not…let’s see… (my feelings about the characters change often...although...George has been on the S-list for a while)

Izzie…jerk for sleeping with George...she isn't really into him
George…jerk for sleeping with Izzie, and adulterer because he HAS A WIFE!!! (who rocks the Casbah)!
Preston…jerk because his masculinity was being threatened, and he is just annoying
McSteamy…not really my favorite, but nothing too jerky lately (although not to shabby to look at...eye candy as Jill might say)

Meredith…love her…in all her flawedness…love her!! (favorite episode is when she has appendicitis)
Derrick…the perfect man…in all his flawedness
Alex…good man…good doctor and friend to Jane Doe (again...eye candy)
Dr. Bailey…always the moral compass…moving forward like a great white shark
Yang…flawed, mean, ornery, but I LOVE HER! She is SO honest.
Cali…loved her from the beginning. (Love to watch her dance in her underwear, and she is on my list of girl crushes)
Addison…WHY IS SHE LEAVING!? (and McSteamy better NOT go with her) You can’t hate her…no matter how hard you try(...she is SO Aubry would say)
Chief...his lover died, his wife left him…he works in a hospital of crazies, and that is not counting the patients.

So there you have current take on Grey's Anatomy. I can only hope that it doesn't jump the shark. It would be nice to see this show go out on top...I'm not saying I want it to end, but it is always depressing when shows go bad.

Wednesday, March 14

Get Shorty

So Monday night I offered to return a movie for my mom, so she wouldn't have ANOTHER day of late fees...unfortunately I spaced my good intention and didn't get to the video store before 7:00pm...which is when they start assessing late fees. So after FHE (Family Home Evening) was over I snagged my friend Shorty (who's real name is Christine...she is 4'11") and she came with me to the store. It was a warm evening, and I have a sun roof...which is the pride and joy of my car....seriously...when it was stolen last summer all I could think about was the fact that I would probably not get another car with a sun roof for the price I got this one...incidentally the car was found...anyway...I love driving with it open...even in the winter. We pulled into the video store and I left the sun roof open...we were only going in for a few minutes...We walked into Top Hat (BEST VIDEO STORE EVER) and I realized I had no cash, nor my debit card...luckily I have a pre-paid account, and since I'm such a loyal customer they let me use my pre-paid account...$1.33 pay for $6.00 of late fees...loyalty ALWAYS pays off...literally! Then Shorty and I looked around for a minute and argued about the movie/book Flowers in the Attic. Then we left.

As we were walking out I stuck my hand in my pocket to get keys...unfortunately, I found my pockets sans keys! Immediately I knew I had locked them in the car, however, to humour Shorty...(who is going to make some smart remark, when she reads this, about my condescending attitude to humour her)...because she peaked in the car and said she couldn't see them...I walked back into the store and asked if I left them on the counter and checked the shelves we had been standing by. No keys. There was only one thing to do...Shorty had to climb in through the sun roof...which was serendipitously open...and unlock the car from the inside...She's the perfect size...Definitely someone that you always want to have in your back a trusty Swiss army knife, or Leatherman! She did just that...climbed up the a bit nervous on the roof...I assured her that, I myself had sat on the roof...and I'm like three Shortys...she was fine...and then she slide right down into the car, and unlocked the door...Sure enough...there were my the ignition! To happy accidents and pocket size friends.

Addendum: So that Shorty will still be my friend...she is actually 4'11 & 3/4"...still short enough to have a handicapped sticker

Saturday, March 10

Maybe this is what happened.

Ok so as a preface to this entry I want you to be warned that some of you may not appreciate this entry...but I need to record this exciting moment in my life...and what better place to do that then the infinity of cyber space.

Yesterday, March 9, 2007 at 7:30am I had an endoscopy. I have horrid acid reflux, and after an "acid reflux attack from hell" (which included bowing to the porcelain god five minutes before a meeting in which I needed to impress someone) I decided that a doctor's visit was probably in order. The doctor's visit ended in an appointment for an endoscopy. So here is the play by play to my very exciting, and eventful day.

I was driven to the hospital by my dad who dropped me off. (we're the real independent types in our family...I would have driven myself, but you can't drive yourself home). I filled out paper work and they took me back to my room. I got to put on this very trendy hospital gown, and had my blood pressure taken. I hadn't really been feeling nervous at all, but when the nurse...Shelley (who was SO NICE...and had the best bedside manner ever...Jack Shephard could take a lesson in bedside manner from her) took the BP it was something like 137 over 98! HOLY COW!! She said I was probably nervous...and I agreed...although I wasn't really feeling it quite yet.

Then it was time for the other nurse to come and put in my IV!!! HOORAY! And it really is so they are sticking a tube into your skin and vein...not just a needle, but a tube...and its on the top of your hand...very sensitive really kind of hurts!!! Then they put something into your blood stream that stings in your hand and shoulder! ARG! Not my favorite. I couldn't watch. Then they left me there to wait for my turn in the operating room. As I lay there all I could think was "I wish my mom were here." I'm not a mamma's girl, and like I said...highly independent...when it comes to certain things...doctors being one of them...but wow...I was ready to cry like a baby (and in all honesty I did shed a few tears). I don't particularly love doctors anyway...and so lying there in this room, by myself...unsure of who was going to be picking me up (either grandpa, or aunt Jennifer) I just wanted my mother. MOTHERS CAN NEVER BE OVERRATED!!

After a few minutes...and thank goodness only a few...I may have been sobbing like a baby if left alone too long...they wheeled me into the operating room. They hooked me up to a monitor for my BP, and heart rate. That was fun because they put these sticky tabs on your chest and one on your side, and then attach the was like in the "Pit of Despair" when Westley is hooked up to the machine. Anyway...I had a little green mouth/bite/guard/thing that went in my mouth so my teeth didn't clamp down when they put the camera and light down my throat. They hooked my up to oxygen...which is just delightful!!! and then it was time for the anesthetic. The last thing I remember is...waking up in the recovery room.

Actually...I do remember, vaguely, and more or less as a dream...that I gagged on something, and was coughing, and hearing one of the nurses tell me that I was ok and to breathe...but that is all. When I came to I was in a recovery room, and they had been done for over an hour...the whole procedure takes about ten minutes...but they drugs take a while to wear off. I started coming to, and noticed that my gown up by my shoulder was damp and yellow...must have been the coughing/gagging/chocking moment in which I was somewhat conscious...Shelley came in and helped me sit up, and drink some water...I was starting to feel much more coherent, and she went over the things that the doctor found, and what I need to start and stop eating/doing (that is not the exciting part at all). But I don't remember much of what was said. I do remember however that I was still hooked up to the heart monitor and my BP was being taken every ten or fifteen minutes. The last time it took my BP it was 120/81! Healthy as a horse! Sort of...

Finally after about 20 minutes of being coherent Shelley decided that I could get dressed. She put the call button right near the bed in case I needed it, and told me to try and sit while I got dressed. I felt fine and figured I would be ok to stand, and then noticed that when she left the curtain to my room wasn't closed all the way and I had no desire to get dressed for everyone to see, so I stood up to go shut it...she wasn't kidding about trying to sit as much as possible! I had to hold the bed and the wall all the way to the curtain and about ripped the curtain off the hooks when I went to close it because I was so woozy. I did manage to put my clothes back on (only had to strip from the waste up so it wasn't too difficult).

My grandpa ended up picking me up...which was really great of grandfather is a very friendly, and talkative person (we have that in common...just not when I've been under sedation for a few hours) I was not in the mood to answer all his questions. He didn't know I was having this procedure probably until my aunt called him to pick me up, and he tends to worry about things like there were a LOT of questions. Shelley came in and took out my IV, and AFTER she pulled it out, we noticed that I had a rash on my stomach and arms. So I had to have Benadryl...but it had to be given via an IV!!

SO another nurse came to put one in...She tired my left hand, but said she couldn't find a vein...I can see two right now, so I don't know what she was talking she decided to do my left arm...She got it in...this time I did watch, but she couldn't find the here I am watching her move the tube and needle around under my skin for almost five minutes. She can't find it. SO we go to my right arm...which the Red Cross loves! And sure enough...she stuck that needle and tube in and out came the blood!...spilling down my arm on my sweat pants. She couldn't get the needle out fast enough and the syringe of saline solution in. It was kind of funny. Then came the Benadryl. To this point I was feeling very coherent, and thought I probably could walk to the car...the second that Benadryl hit my blood stream...I couldn't even hold my head up!...slurring my words, not complete sentences... it was great. The best part though was when Shelley was helping me into the car...

My grandfather...bless his heart...loves to flirt...he is a huge flirt! And Shelley was a very friendly, nice, cute a prime target in his mind. He pulls the car up, and gets out...but instead of helping me into the car...he is flirting with Shelley and discussing the possibility of getting a colonoscopy at that office. I'm trying to get into the car...I slipped once...but Shelley was there...and he is just flirting away...classic! I loved it...except for that fact that I REALLY wanted to be in bed. As we drove home he talked all the way...mentioning something about Dick's which I have no idea what my response was.

Getting from the car to the house was pretty great too. Not since learning to walk as a young toddler, have a concentrated SO hard on getting one foot in front of the other. Once I was in, and had thanked my grandpa for the ride I went straight for the Luv Sac, and slept for the next eight hours or so.

I still feel a bit groggy and light headed today, but I think that has something to do with the fact that I've had very little to eat or drink since 5:30pm on Thursday March 8. All in all it was exciting, and I saw cool pictures of my throat. Maybe I will post those! (probably not). Not a horrible experience...I would have liked my mom to be there, but Shelley was a pretty good replacement if I couldn't have the real thing.

Tuesday, March 6

Demolition and childhood

Have you ever noticed that when buildings are being torn, knocked, imploded, etc...that a THRONG of people gathers? When I was in high school and living in Green Valley the Star Dust Hotel and Casino was was on the news, there was a press conference...(have you seen Ocean's 11...similar scene)...we watched the implosion over and over again in early morning seminary...there may have been a lesson, but all I remember is the implosion. When the Inn at Temple Square was being knocked down with a wrecking ball, traffic was a disaster on the corner of West and South Temple...rubber-necking galore, people on the sidewalks...crazy! And just this last week near my office a parking structure is being torn down piece by piece with a back hoe! I'm not going to is cool, and as I'm walking by coming from the bus stop I crane my neck and pray I won't run into anyway on the sidewalk so I can watch. I've seen people in my office staring out the windows on the north west corner of the building to get a good view!

It reminds me of being a child, and building structures with Legos...that was fun and all...but I remember that my favorite part was the chaos of knocking them down, and destroying them. Why is that? Why is there so much awe and excitement in that destruction and large construction the back hoe? Remember when you were little playing at the park in the sand with the mini back hoe? I could have sat on that thing ALL day...just moving side from one place to another...building sand mounds, and then knocking them down! I loved it then and I love it now! Why?

Saturday, March 3

"please" and "thank you" in the deli

I worked in a deli for a good portion of my life. Starting with Bob's Deli during my senior year of high school, and then continuing in a service deli at Dick's Market in Bountiful. I learned a lot about myself and life in both places, and gained many life long friends. Probably the greatest and most significant discovery that I made (and I apologize to those of you who are waiting for some amazing metaphor for life) was that every person should work in retail, whether it be food sales or other, for at LEAST three months of their life. I think that would immensely impact how retail workers are treated.

I feel that I nature...a fairly kind, and polite person. I that point at least...grown up believing that others were the same, I did not grow up in a bubble...however, having worked in a retail-ish profession over the course of about seven years...I have noticed that people seem to forget themselves, or at least their manners, when someone is waiting on them. Now I work in a customer oriented position as well, and on one occasion have almost been brought to tears by how rudely I was treated.

For those of you who are nodding in agreement right now my empathy is yours...for those of you who have no idea what I'm talking about BE NICE. It is very simple...someone is providing you a service that you would otherwise have to do your self. Why do you go out to dinner? So you don't have to prepare a meal and do dishes, etc...someone else is doing it for you. And yes, it is their job, but that is no reason to belittle them. We all want to take pride in what we do...regardless of how menial our job may seem to is OUR job. I don't know about you, but I want to be a contributing member of society...I want to do it with a smile on my face...but that is EXTREMELY difficult when people are rude.

"please" and "thank you"...not difficult to pronounce, not difficult to spell...but my oh far they have gotten me. Not only does the person who is receiving the "please" or "thank you" feel good...I feel good saying it. I feel kinder, and in turn much happier. It is the simple things that bring peace and contentment in life. A Boar's Head Mesquite Smoked Turkey sandwich with lettuce, tomato, salt and pepper, and mustard...unless you're Melissa, then no sauces...a bite of fresh homemade potato salad, slicing seven kinds of meat, and three kinds of cheeses on a Saturday night two minutes before closing and 30 seconds after you've cleaned the slicer...these are the things to enjoy...why...because a "please" and "thank you" and a smile accompanied all of them...not to mention they taste good.

Friday, March 2

the first

well here it first blog as an official blogger. As many "bloggers" will NOT admit, I think that my ideas and thoughts are pretty darn amazing, insightful, and entertaining, and would like the whole world (at least the world with access to the Internet) to share in the amazingly, entertaining insightfulness. Ok, so that is only half is an age of communication, and as my friend aubry mentioned is a world in which we all want to be heard, or read rather...considering I'm not as technologically savvy as others and do not know how to record and post...and I do want to be read, heard, if you're interested...excellent...if you're not...I hope you find something that does interest you. With that...welcome to "jokes, jeans & Jesus".